The Day My Heart Broke Forever
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I cannot believe it has been seven years today since we had to say the most heartbreaking goodbye I have ever had to say.
The day I lost my beautiful Mum, seven years ago today, my world shattered.
This day will stay in my memory forever, losing my Mum broke me in a way I never knew was possible. That day, that moment we said goodbye, has haunted every second since.
It feels like a lifetime since I last heard her voice, saw her beautiful smile, or felt the warmth of her arms around me. The silence without her is deafening.
If I could go back to that day, I would hold her tighter than ever and never let go. I would tell her over and over how much I love her, how she saved me, how she made me who I am.
Without her love, her strength, and her guidance, I would have been lost.
I miss her in ways I can’t even put into words. Every single day, every single moment, I ache for her. I cry for her. My heart breaks again and again, and I know it always will.
The sun just doesn’t shine the same anymore.
I miss everything, the laughs, the little things, the way “Mum” would light up my phone. I still find myself looking out the window, hoping I’ll see her car pull up, wishing it was all just a terrible dream I could wake from.
There’s so much I wish I could tell her. I still need her, No matter how old I get, I’ll always need her. She weren’t just my mother, she was my first friend, my best friend, my forever friend. And I love her with every single beat of my heart.
I’ve tried so hard to carry on like she told us to. I hope we’re making her proud, because everything we do now, we do for her.
My little boy is growing up so fast and I should be sharing this with her, asking her all the questions I don’t have the answers to. But I’ll make sure my boy knows everything about his incredible Nanny. I’ll make sure he feels her love, even if she can’t hold him.
The pain hasn’t eased. It never will. It’s part of me now, like a shadow I can’t escape. I never knew that “forever” could hurt so much.
Mum, I love you more than words could ever say, my beautiful sleeping angel. You held my hand for a little while, but you’ll hold my heart forever.
Sleep peacefully, Mum. Stay close to those gates, because when my time comes, the only person I want to see waiting for me is you. And when I find you again, I promise, I’ll never let you go.
Forever yours, with a broken heart.